F^* It, I'm 40
“What comes with getting older?” This question was asked to a group of women gathered together while at a birthday dinner to celebrate a good friend. As an icebreaker, my friend came prepared with questions for all of us to answer one at a time around the table. At first, it seems like an easy enough question to respond to, and the answers you might already suspect made there way around the table with ease. Responses like, “wisdom”, “confidence”, “peace”, and a few others that sound familiar were the basic theme. When my turn came along my response was, “nothing”. As you can imagine, I was asked to fully explain my answer. It’s simple, if we do nothing all the days of our lives, as we age, we will have nothing: no wisdom, no peace, no confidence, etc. The act of getting older doesn’t guarantee that you automatically get any one particular thing. Whatever you work for and put effort into is what is attained. Read it again. It’s a detriment to anyone who believes that you just wake up one day and become the recipient of things that come from hard, consistent work in a particular area.
Now that I’m turning another year older, what am I getting? Turns out, for the past 40 years I’ve been earning a series of “F”s!!
Fabulous
When used as an adjective, this word can be defined as “extraordinary, especially extraordinarily large”. It’s self explanatory and hard to be defined because the act of being fabulous is a vibe. It has more to do with energy than something concrete. At times, being fabulous is associated with my sense of style, but it’s more about how I carry myself. One thing about this F-word is that it is linked with being positive. I’m definitely taking this F-word into my 40s!
Fierce
My warrior spirit is hard to conceal. There is a level of intensity that I tap into as I unapologetically navigate life. Throughout the years this is consistently in direct alignment with my inner strength. Being fierce is the external display of passion and strength that I have been blessed with. I doubt this F-word is going to leave me anytime soon!
Flawed
My flaws are the most beautiful part of me because they are the driving force behind my desire to grow and constantly improve in all aspects of my life. The thing about flaws is that the more you grow, the more they reveal themselves. They keep me humble and I’m not afraid to accept them. Because of them, I am FLAWSOME!
Family
My strongest foundation is in family. What a blessing this has been. Because of them, I have the benefit of having a Caribbean heritage and culture. Their collective love that spans many generations is felt and needed every day. Having a family of my own still remains one of my favorite accomplishments. This is an “F” that I hope stays with me forever!
Friendship
This is one of my favorite parts of life! One of the best things you can have in life is a friend. Friendship is the pinnacle of any relationship. Even parent/child relationships turn into friendships at their peak. I’ve been blessed with so many people who I consider a friend and vice versa. I take it is a huge compliment to gain even one friend because I understand that they’ve made a decision to unselfishly give parts of their lives that they can’t get back. Friendships take everything that is priceless to maintain; time, effort, energy, love, trust, etc. All my friendships are not the same, but they all have value in my life. At times, friendships can be painful, but I no longer fear losing a friend because I understand that everyone has a season in my life. This F-word gives me LIFE!
Fearless
I use this term often, but I have many fears. Since all fears are not created equal and I’ve eliminated the fear of caring what other people think, it absolves so much and creates an opportunity to feel fear, but pursue things anyway. I no longer fear losing or being judged. Instead, I use the feeling of fear as a gauge for areas that I need to further explore and grow in. Since I can’t do God’s work scared, I let it go. This F-word keeps me on my toes and extremely uncomfortable!
Forward-looking
Purposeful living ensures that I get to live in the moment while building and creating for my future. Once I adopted the mindset that it really isn’t about me, it became easy to focus on living a life that positively impacts the future. Meaning, I live my best life to open the door for others to do the same. At first, I didn’t realize the direct correlation to embracing change, but now I understand that being progressive/forward-looking is one “F” that imma hang on to!
Favored
I used to wonder why certain amazing things happened in my life. I mean God’s favor is evident every second of the day for me. I see and receive miracles with every turn. When I didn’t know my worth, it scared me. Now that I know my worth as a child of God, I’m no longer surprised because He wants all of us to have the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). I pray this F-word sticks with me and my entire circle!
Faith filled
I remember when I would “dabble” in having strong faith; I wanted results from God without rendering full control. I’m human so I know that this will be an area that I’m always working on, but over the years I have seen and felt my faith increase in leaps and bounds. This is an F-word that my soul seeks and I’m happy to feed it with the word of God.
Free
At the end of the day, I’m FREE! Freedom for me means having and feeling my full human experience knowing that it is temporary and strictly to fulfill a greater purpose. Life is beautiful and life is heartbreaking, but with each experience I know that God is using them for my good, so I make Extra My Ordinary and LIVE!
Here I am walking boldly into 40! Boy did the time go extremely fast. Strangely enough, I’ve been anticipating this milestone for quite some time. Not that I was in a rush, but somehow I always imagined that I would be more free (and I am) which is extremely appealing to me. It is an absolute blessing to anticipate another year of life and I plan to celebrate accordingly.
What have you gained from getting older?
See you on the other side!
Extraordinarily Yours,
Donna
