Find a Style You Love, Own it, and Then Outgrow it
I have heard so many times that there’s something powerful about a well-dressed individual, and I agree without hesitation...Until now! “Recently”, I’ve taken the time to question my worldview on many topics and areas of life. This new mindset moved me to dig deeper about what this means to me and try to figure out how dressing up has helped to shape who I am. I wondered if I had subconsciously been feeding into a marketing trap or cultural assimilation without question. There’s no doubt that I am certainly influenced by both mediums, but after my in depth introspection I realize that my influence has shaped my perspective on this in a healthy and positive way.
As a Caribbean woman who lived on a small island, appearance was something that you could not escape. I learned early that your appearance communicates to people, and the unspoken question for myself became, “so what do you want to say?” Ultimately, asking questions leads to thinking and thinking leads to drawing conclusions. In what seems like a very slow process that took all of my childhood and young adult years, I learned that I was engaging in a process of determining my own sense of style. The invaluable byproduct of this process is that I was training myself to explore, tap into my creativity, and dig deep into Donna as I experiment with style after style after style! Unfortunately, the very hard part about this process of exploration is that it doesn’t count unless you actually go out into the world and “see” yourself in different spaces, places, and people. Let me break this down - You need to wear that outfit that you took a risk with and get the looks, hear the low chatter, and/or receive the compliments and feel all that comes from putting on said outfit. This process helps you rule things in and out as you simultaneously grow into who you are. The good and not so good news is that the process of finding your sense of style, and then pushing past it is never-ending! Right here is where most people make their first mistake as they journey towards finding their personal style because many people have fallen into the trap that style is a destination.
I find myself at the crossroad of Taking Style Risks or Playing it Safe all the time! To be honest, taking style risks is hard and depending on what’s going on in my life, I just don’t have time to prioritize this. Luckily, I have a long and detailed track record of taking style risks so my default is well-developed. Lately, I’ve been choosing to use the moments in my life when I’m scheduled to have an EXTRAordinary life experience as an opportunity to take style risks, further define and refine my personal style.
In November 2019, I teamed with two of my faves to plan an EXTRAordinary 40th Birthday weekend in New Orleans. One of the things I enjoy doing is also encouraging other people to push past their own self-induced boundaries. A few weeks before it was time to travel to NOLA, I sent out an email asking all my friends to bring at least one outfit to wear that was outside of their comfort zone. My exact wording:
Dress all the way up for everything each day...Be EXTRA! Sequin, fur, tulle, leather, etc...bring it. Experiment with your style and wear something that is outside of your comfort zone and/or norm at least once during the trip.
I love all of my friends’ sense of style, but it wasn’t about that. We should all be challenging each other to grow in multiple areas of life by pushing past our ordinary into the EXTRAordinary!
Enjoy a few of our style-risk looks from a Queens’ NOLA Weekend:
As a plus-size woman who loves her curves, I find that I often gravitate towards clothing styles that have a closer fit because I feel like they flatter me better. So, for the first night’s look, I chose to wear a Kaftan style dress that was outside of my style-comfort-zone and it felt awesome! Another thing that I did to push myself outside of my comfort zone was putting purple highlights in my hair and wearing some shade of purple all weekend. After this experience, I’ve incorporated Kaftan-style dresses into my wardrobe for when I want to be casual or dressy.
My friend, Tashieka, and Founder of Pink Girls Run The World writes: "My outside of my comfort zone outfit was pastel pink latex pants. I have never worn latex in my life, but thought it would be fun to wear latex in NOLA and it was."
She looked phenomenal and should consider latex pants more often!!
My cousin and friend, Rashida, writes: “I didn’t think I had any uncomfortable moments because I felt good in all the clothes I wore. Well, thinking about it again brought me to this moment:
Because I have wonderfully big arms I’m usually self-conscious about wearing short sleeves or tank tops because I don’t find them flattering. I planned to wear this outfit with a T-shirt underneath to cover them. However, I looked so good and most importantly felt good without one that I wore it as is. In this moment, I was a champion of my own body positivity and it was amazing!
In addition, as a former athlete I viewed sneakers as necessary tools of working out and nothing more. In my quest to find comfort shoes to wear with casual outfits I decided to invest in my first ever pair of fashion sneakers. I threw them on at the last minute to stroll around the French quarter leading to this iconic look. I now own 3 pairs!”
I absolutely love Rahida’s outfit and her new relationship with fashion sneakers!! There’s nothing like being comfortably fabulous.
Taking these risks with our styles allowed us to see ourselves in a new way. We all had no idea what we were missing out on by having never explored these areas for ourselves. The most powerful thing is that every time someone does something that they thought they never could do (for whatever the reason(s)), pieces of their spirit become free and they empower MANY other people at that moment.
Maybe you just need the right person to help you step outside of your style-comfort-zone. Are you waiting for the right time or circumstances to push your style limit(s)? Have you already tried but didn’t have a favorable outcome? Consider having a style consultation with an experienced wardrobe stylist, ME. I have been styling myself and the women in my life for over 15 years and I’m excited to offer this service to all of you.
As your style coach, I will guide you through the process of exploring your comfort zone, limitations, and dream outfits as the first step(s) towards making the EXTRAordinary moments in your life more memorable.
