Be Bold: The World is Waiting, Sis
I am a woman and a Virgin Islander; Lucky me! March is Women's History Month and Virgin Islands History Month respectfully. Now is a perfect time to be reminded that we are called to live a BOLD life without apology.
A couple of years ago, my husband saw a magnet in St. Thomas that states, “Women Who Behave Rarely Make History”. Of course he purchased it because in his words, “Donna, this is so you!”. I had certainly seen that quote (or something similar) many times before, but I love that it had the words “St. Thomas” on it because it truly hit home for me. If you are reading this and do not know me personally, it is important for me to acknowledge that I get told to “behave” often. Mainly people say it in the spirit of kidding, not kidding. Nonetheless, it’s a comment used to suggest conformity, go-with-the-flow, and hopes to not create confrontation. The issue with this is that the world needs women who are not afraid to use their voice to create positive change(s), but when they are conditioned to “behave” they aren’t able to boldly engage with life in a way that moves themselves and others forward.
I have been accused of being BOLD a time or two! At this point, there’s no hiding it because quite frankly, I own it. Actually, living my life unapologetically comes naturally for me.
One of the things I do on a daily basis is engage in meaningful discussions with individuals from various walks of life, and I get questioned about my ability to live my life unapologetically. Top question that I get asked is some version of “So, tell me, how and when did you stop caring what other people think?”. The question in of itself is the root of their inability to live boldly and unapologetically and identifying it is a huge step into a more free life. Granted, this may not be everyone’s reason, but if you were guaranteed to be supported, loved, and never judged through every situation would you live differently? Chances are I would hear an astounding yes from most people.
When I first heard the question, I actually didn’t have a reply because I had never stopped to think about it. Also, I would dismiss it because at times it would seem like passive aggressiveness or low-key judgment brewing. Perhaps, at times it was, but after a while I could recognize that, more often than not, there was a genuineness that accompanied the inquiry. Truth is, many people are actively fighting for the ability to live a BOLD, unapologetic life! The EXTRAordinary news is that at any moment you can choose to start living life boldly and unapologetically. The terms bold and unapologetic are often confused with outward displays that are vivid to the eyes and loud to the ears. The bold that I’m referring to has everything to do with confidence, courage, authenticity, high self-worth, and the ability to embrace and create change.
It’s important to know that every time you choose to make apologies for who you are, dim your light, and play it safe, you lose yourself and make it that much harder to start the process of living an EXTRAordinary life!
If you’re reading this and have no idea where to start in your life, here are five practical things that you can do today to begin the process.
1. Read books that can help you to become more purposeful.
When I wanted to live more boldly with purpose, I eagerly read one of Brene Brown’s popular books, Daring Greatly. In addition to this book, Bible study helped and still helps to strengthen my faith, which serves as my foundation for living boldly. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention T.D. Jakes book, Destiny. When you know why you are doing things, it gives you courage to stand firm on the decisions you make for yourself. Otherwise, you do things, but feel insecure with your choices and actions because you didn’t tie it to anything meaningful.
2. Write down the top three things you would do, if you knew you were guaranteed to achieve the goals.
Writing is a powerful tool. This activity is twofold because it leads to identifying areas for purposeful living and breaking the cycle of keeping your dreams a secret. Secrets have shame attached to it and shame keeps you small.
3. Become aware of every time you use a contraction (ie. can’t, won’t, don’t, etc.).
Sometimes we are negative and have never realized it. Examples that I hear way too often are: I love your hair, but I can’t…, That looks good on you, but I don’t…, I would try that, but I won’t…, I couldn’t begin to imagine… Are these statements that you say regularly? Try changing it up! Instead, you can say I look forward to seeing how I would look with that style, or I’m inspired by that and I look forward to my results when I try.
4. Find something to tell yourself daily; an affirmation. Then, express gratitude for it!
Example: I’m open to learning and winning because there is no such thing as failure. I may not get the results that I imagine, but I will gain so much vital experience. I’m so grateful that I always win or learn!
Example: Whatever is said about me (good or bad), does not define me. I’m so grateful that what people say about me doesn’t make or break me.
Example: Today, I choose to make zero apologies for who I am. I’m so grateful for a bold, unapologetic life!
5. With your new level of awareness, be intentional with and about everything.
The best way to gauge your intent is to continuously ask yourself questions prior to making decisions. Does this help me to achieve my goals? Is this good for my mental health and self-care? Does that person add value to my life? Am I happy in this place and/or space? What can I do to improve this situation?
Chances are this isn’t the first time you’re being called to live a bold life, so consider this your confirmation that it is time! Speaking of confirmation, I was driving down the highway a few months back and a truck was riding in front of me with the words BE BOLD on the back. Two days later, while walking in NYC a city trash bin had the message - Don’t be afraid of anyone.
Let’s continue to honor the bold, unapologetic women who have come before us, paved the way, and literally called us to be EXTRAordinary!
Are you already living life BOLDLY & unapologetically? Share with me in the comments.