Grief Stole My Christmas Spirit, but a Visit HOME is Bringing it Back
Christmastime - the time of year when people get ready for and celebrate Christmas : Christmas day and the days and weeks before it. Also known as: my favorite time of year!
When I was growing up in the Virgin Islands, I remember the deep levels of excitement, endless activities, and strong cultural and spiritual emphasis that was present during the Holidays/Christmastime. With all of these components, it was understood that Christmas is not just for children, nor is it simply about gift exchanging and Santa Clause. From my experience growing up in the Virgin Islands, it’s basically understood fairly early on that Santa is a fun and fictitious character used to spark joy and wonder during the season. Perhaps this was the only way to market the jolly fella since the archetype of a caucasian man dressed in “Winter gear” who enters down chimneys is a tough concept to perpetuate based on the tropical climate and way of life on the island(s).
For the past 20 years, I’ve celebrated Christmastime in numerous ways; none of which seem to ever measureup or compare to the memories and traditions I once shared on my EXTRAordinary island of sun and fun. Many of my favorite memories include being surrounded by the entire community for days on end to partake in parties, concerts, meals, and what seemed like endless holiday cheer. This festive and dynamic holiday cheer started weeks before Christmas day and lasted until after the Three Kings celebration in January: Christmas decorations and music everywhere, parties for the community just about every day, carolling on Christmas morning, eating every local dish imaginable (i.e. ham, tart, sweetbread, kallalo, drinking guavaberry, etc), large family gatherings and gift exchanges, church services and programs that highlighted our youth, and a deep sense of pride for community and culture hovered over us as we would celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. After moving off of the island, I eventually learned to adjust to a different culture and way of celebrating that always seemed less-than in comparison to the “warm embrace” of culture, fun, and family of days past. I immediately became absorbed in “dreaming of a white Christmas”, waiting on Santa Claus to visit, cookie exchanges, reindeer, and mainstream Christmas songs that quickly drowned out the festive large family gatherings, “green” Christmas, sweet bread, donkeys, melodies/tunes, calypso beats, and lyrics of the songs I had grown so fond of.
After experiencing the death of a parent three days before Christmas, I was devastated and my beloved Christmastime became one huge trigger of sadness and grief. I mean, Christmas literally took my breath away in the worst way - in an instant, grief stole any Christmas spirit that I had! Christmas morning 2018, I woke up weeping with a heavy heart. I just knew that the only way to change the narrative of our family’s Christmastime memory was to celebrate the way my father would have, in grand VI style! So, this year we packed our bags and here I am with friends and family enjoying Christmastime and regaining my Christmas spirit.
As our blessings would have it, we arrived on island the day before the traditional Miracle on Main Street was scheduled to take place. Miracle on Main Street is an all-day and night celebration of Christmas cheer! During the event, local businesses are open with extended hours and discounts to encourage shopping. The main street in the downtown shopping area is blocked off and the community comes out in droves to partake in this family-friendly outing that truly sets the tone for Christmastime.
My favorite part of attending Miracle on Main Street was running into friends and family who I love but don’t have an opportunity to spend time with regularly. Giving huge hugs and sharing laughs while live music plays on every corner became the norm all night.
Minute by minute, it began to feel like old times and my Christmas spirit was filling up! Who doesn’t enjoy a fabulous holiday light show? Back in the states, I would often drive around to see all the homes lit up with Christmas lights and decorations which put a smile on my heart. Knowing my affinity for light shows and displays, I was pleased to learn about the boat parade that started at 7 pm on the harbor where boat owners decorated their boats with colorful decorations and sailed past hundreds of onlookers all in the spirit of Christmas.
Not only was the street blocked off and the harbor filled with activity, but the main square (Emancipation Garden) was a central location for purchasing delicious local foods as entertainers performed under the gazebo.
I know that Christmastime won’t ever be the same without my Dad, but I’m grateful to have EXTRAordinary memories to rely on and create with each passing year. For me, HOME is where the heart, healing, and holiday spirit lies.
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you all! Enjoy a Caribbean Christmas melody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr6SJpyrzAU
