You're Simply The Best...Est. Summer 1969

‘Twas the Summer of 1969 and somewhere between Woodstock and America sending the first person to set foot on the moon, you were born! Mentioning these iconic happenings in the same breath of your birth may seem presumptuous to some, but those of us who love and value you understand that you’re a classic man: The type of man who is creating a legacy.

When I met my husband, we instantly became friends and then I learned that this happens all the time since most everyone he meets becomes his friend!  As a quintessential nice-guy, he is the type of person who allows the people around him to feel safe and free to be themselves. This year God blessed him with the opportunity to celebrate his 50th Birthday, and I am honored to celebrate alongside many other family and friends who love him too. Enjoy this open letter to my husband, Dexter, on his 50th Birthday!

Dear Dexter,

You've been looking forward to this moment for the past year all while celebrating your friends’ birthdays along the way. It’s your time now, so live it up and relish in God’s continued favor over your life!  As for me, celebrating the man you’ve become brings me such joy. When I sit back to reflect, I realize that I’ve probably known you the least amount of time in comparison to the wealth of family members and friends who shower you with so much love, support, and encouragement on a regular basis. However, the past sixteen years with you have afforded me the opportunity to accelerate the rate at which I get to love you. This front row seat on the ride of our lives with you has been nothing but incredible. I honor you for helping to make what can easily be a complex and challenging life feel so easy breezy.   

The world knows you as a professional, a soldier, musician, and an unofficial Virgin Islands ambassador, but I get to “see” deeper into your soul. It’s your birthday, but YOU are the true gift to our family- an undeniable cool breeze on a Summer day...the quiet whisper of assurance in the midst of the struggle...the strength needed to push through the pain...the exuberant burst of energy found just when we’re running low...a constant light pushing through the darkness…an abundance of talent in a world that’s consumed with cookie cutter ideas...a stellar provider...a blanket of warmth on a cold Winter’s day... 

Saying I love and appreciate you doesn’t feel like enough in comparison for all that you do and the way you make me feel. So, on your birthday, it’s fitting that I thank you for taking the time to develop the many aspects of who you are. Living with this level of intention creates a harmonious flow of growth, love, and success for our entire family.  Thank you for being the type of husband who is both a dependable teammate and a loving partner. Here’s what we can all learn from you:

Foster your talents

Whether you are chasing musical tunes in not one, but two bands, or trying to out bat and pitch your opponents on the softball field, you make time to foster your talents.  As if that isn’t enough, throughout the years I’ve benefited from you pushing your culinary skills to the limits by cooking for your family weekly. I appreciate you. 

Stay the course

Having the tenacity to remain committed to all aspects of your life consistently and for decades is extremely admirable.  It’s easy to get overwhelmed or reach a place of mastery and then move on to the next assignment, but you do the opposite.  Instead, you take the position of an inquisitive learner and humble leader as you maintain mastery and reach back to teach. This is evident in your over 20+ year career in the Army National Guard, visibly orchestrated in your 15+ year career with Turner Construction, Co, and your daily commitment to your marriage of 11 years.  Each day I watch you challenge yourself to be a better leader, musician, and husband. Thank you for being a stellar example of fortitude!  

Love and support your entire family

The efforts you take to maintain strong relationships with what feels like your entire family does not go unnoticed.  You are quick to find out what’s needed and how you can help! Not only that, but you pick up the phone to call your parents, Aunts, cousins, siblings, and godparents just to touch base regularly. This is all in addition to the love and support you effortlessly give to your children and I daily.  Thank you for always showing up and being present.   

Value people and connections

What a breath of fresh air it is to be connected to you! Your calm presence and the consistent smile you have for just about everyone immediately creates a sense that they are of value. When I first met you, you used to pride yourself in introducing me to ALL of your high school and college classmates and you still do.  It brings you great pleasure to maintain relationships and connections with just about each person you’ve ever come in contact with. Living your life in this way creates opportunity for blessings to overflow from you to others and vice versa.  

Give it all away

It’s rare that you would pass up an opportunity to bless someone else by giving what is asked, but not expected of you. Giving freely goes without saying, and because of this you are a recipient of a constant outpouring of abundance from God. Prior to you, I had never witnessed anyone take the maximum allotted amount of checked bags filled with special requests and gifts for family members when flying home. Similarly, in your present professional role, a large part of your daily responsibilities is serving the community and you do this with a willing spirit and an open heart. Your giving surpasses material things because each day you pour into others simply by being yourself. This is such an admirable quality!   

Embrace your cultural identity

There’s no doubt about it that you love your Virgin Islands roots, culture, and heritage!  Having a strong sense of who you are is important for you and in turn you maintain your cultural identity in several ways. A family favorite is through your love of cooking local dishes but it doesn’t stop there. You decided to use your talents as a trumpet player to nurture your love of soca and calypso music by joining a calypso band which I witness bringing you a sense of accomplishment and contentment. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention your burning desire to partake in and deep love of Carnival! As you put it, “Some people love Christmas, I love Carnival!”.  You’re encouraged to keep the vibes going!

Choose peace

Dexter, you are as cool as a cucumber and your feathers are rarely ruffled. You manage not to involve yourself in negativity nor do you engage in unnecessary conflict.  Rather, you maintain a spirit of peace while eliciting positive change personally and professionally. Having restraint when it would be easier to commission a boisterous strength often separates you, an extraordinary individual, from the norm.  Every time you choose peace, we win!

I love who you’ve become and I look forward to your continued evolution into the man God wants you to be. How special for me that I get to spend my life with someone who makes my entire being smile. Happy Birthday, Dexter!

With Immense Gratitude & An Abundance of Love,

Your EXTRA wife